Thursday, December 29, 2005

a friend, a gift and an inspiration


thank you S for the perfect gift...
the last few weekends were like a blast from the past...
just when i was getting into the rut of things...
getting sucked in deeper and deeper...
just when sublime resignation to the routine of life was taking over...
you came along like a wave of fresh air, a breather,
with a galvanizing determination to survive....


you brought back with you karachi, indus, life,
forgotten inspirataions, memories, laughters, fights and tears


and that has been the perfect gift my friend...
when just being together is more important than what you do ,
you now you are with a friend...


thank you S for rejuvenating my spirit when i should ve been doing that for you...
thank you S...
and thank you Allah for sending a friend along just when i needed one the most....

(picture by F...your gift triggered his creativity too ;)

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

happy hippyyy...!!!

last week i got the following email from a friend...

"HAPPY HOLIDAAAAYSSSSSSSSSSSSS

everytime anyone says that to me on the phone i always think of bruno the bear- for he was the bear called happy holidays in my childhood and i spent very long days and nights with that bear on those lonely nights...and days-
Anyway point being HAPPYYYYYYYYY HOLIDAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
HAPPY HANUKAAAA HAPPYYYY DIWALI HAPPY EIDDD-point of point being be HAPPYYYYYY happy prappyy in a nappyy"

the last 2 months have been quite festive...
there was eid and diwali on the same day...followed by halloween when the streets were lit and noisy with kids going trick or treating from door to door...
christmas, hanukaa and now a NEW YEAR peeping around the corner...


heres to H & A...heres to x,y,z...heres to every one who reads this...heres to the world...
the world in its beauty and glory
the world-beautiful when the people living in it are in peace with eachother and themselves...
lets give peace a chance...
all we are saying is give peace a chance



Thursday, December 22, 2005

on this day...


a year back on this day...

i was...

dazed and confused...
smiling and crying both at the same time...

cranky and happy...
bitchy and butchery...
high and low...
hyper and illogical...
emotional and irrational...
attached and detached....
willingly unwilling...
jittery and jumpy...

paranoid android....
over-sensi
tive, wailing, crying, tantrum throwing
friend, sister and a daughter....
kicking, squealing, itchy, picky lil piggy....
unrecognizable to myself...
comfortably numb....
i was tying the knot .....

today a year later....

i am...

a little less dazed and confused....
growing and reshaping....
living and letting live...
loving and being loved
....
reaching and speaking....
feeling and
wanting...
touching and touched....
talking and listening....
fighting and making up...
arguing and disagreeing...
dancing, going crazy and in love more then ever...
i am coz WE ARE...a year and still holding hands...(mashallah)



heres to another year of happiness, endless fights, arguments, fighting and kicking and every moment big or small...heres to year old ending to a new begining...
heres to F & me...my husband, my friend....here is
to love and marriage...

love is you
you and me
love is knowing
we can be

Lennon

Saturday, December 17, 2005

the dual city

picture by F

"but Karachi is always dual. houses are alleys; car thieves are the people to help you when your car won't start; pollution simultanoeusly chokes you and makes you gasp at the beauty of unnatural sunsets; a violent, fractured place dismissive of everyone outside its boundaries is vibrant, embracing, accepting of stranger....No simple answers in karachi. just when we decide that the intimacy is exclusionary...a motia seller calls us 'sister' and adorns our wrists with flowers...at its best karachi is intimate with strangers.....selfishness is the consequence of love...."

Kartography
Kamila Shamsie





Friday, December 16, 2005

what makes me purrr......



  • watching a Daniel libeskind building going up...its like a massive sculptural compostion of architectural forms in space...( extension to the ROM at bloor and queen, TO)
  • the first paragraph of a novel that completely catches me...
  • photography exhibitions...its like looking at the world through some one elses eyes.....
  • watching a baby sleep
  • the sound of the waves crashing...the smell of clifton beach and the rush of activity on a sunday evening...
  • ritual visits to sunday bazaar...and getting hold of a good book in less then half price....
  • stargazing. time seems to standstill.
  • indus at night when the tension of the presentation next day's on but everyones still singing and dancing away, helping eachother with models and drawings..and just simply being there
  • the natural high after having a great presentation
  • jalal bhais fries and soup...
  • talking to sam at night...more like her talking to me while im fast asleep...oh i miss our late night talks...i miss my sister...
  • looking at wedding pictures of amma baba
  • walking through the madness of the city to the beats of an iPod
  • long emails from an old friend, especially a funny old friend
  • news of my best girlfriends on there way to becoming mums ( cant believe thats already happening )
  • walking to union station after class with fawad and discovering something new on the way
  • snow fight (had my first one last night)
  • chocolate
  • playing taboo with childhood friends and their add ons and my add on too ;)
  • finding a beautiful and afforable painting to put up in our house...
  • friends...miss 'em, love 'em, cant do without 'em
  • and above all having a personal day!!!
take care of your memories...
you cannot relive them...
Bob Dylan










Sunday, December 11, 2005

taste


in the fuss over calories and nutrients, we forget how intoxicating the sweetness of a peach can be...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

big yellow taxi--NY july '05


they took all the trees, and put them in a tree museum
and they charged the people a dollar and a half to see em
no, no, no
dont it always seem to go
that you dont know what you got till its gone
thay paved paradise and put up a parking lot

(counting crows)

maid 4U

just 10 minutes before store closing, a well-dressed, bright and chirpy customer walks in with an YZZA bag. i cringe inside hoping this will be a short one, i just want to be home now. she s obviously here for a return. im thinking, k i can do this real quick, do the refund, do the cash count put the alarm on the store and run.

as she gets closer i get ready to put on a show. im learning what a gifted actress i am. (retail is very glamorous. it s a lot like being on stage.) i smile, a smile more vibrant then hers. my mental state at this point is in full contradiction to my physical state. but as they say the show must go on. she s like hey u remember me, im like oh god help me its 9pm. im in no mood to socialize. she obviously is. and then it hit s me hey i do remember her. she was there one day before the opening of the store cleaning up the store, the light s, the bathrooms, shes the cleaning lady. i would nt have recognized her ever . she looked so different. she notices the confusion on my face and jumps to the oppurtunity to reintroduce herself.

she tells me how she got into the business of cleaning commercial and construction sites after completeion. she works as a sub contractor for big construction companies. goes through the whole process of bidding , has competitors in the market who she brags are not half as good as her. there s an enthusiasm in her, a passion, a twinkle in her eye as she talks about her self discovered profession. she claims to be a spiritual person. i think therefore i am. finds her work very fulfilling, therapeautic, self satisfying. she emanates an energy, a freshness about her work. she s a thinker she says and indulges in reading about life, spirituality and meditation. i am in complete awe.speechless. staring at her, holding on to every word that comes out of her. then as if shes seeing through me she says whatever you do in your life always remember that it s happened for a reason. whatever work you do be it retail, cleaning, or even working at Tim Hortons for that matter always remember you are learning a skill, make the most out of it and use that knowledge to your advantage. as long as you have a goal and you are positive, you can be an achiever. she goes on to narrate a small story. her first job was at a packaging factory where she had to use both her hands for doing something different. it was, she claims a nightmare, she hated it but who would ve known the skill she acqiuired from there she would be using now. shes now a pro at using both her hands for doing two different things. F R E A K Y but true. she demonstrates. my eyes pop out. she smiles. she hands her business card to me . she calls her company (which she s presently expanding) MAID 4U. unfortunately i cannot do her refund coz she s passed her 14 days. she gets a little upset, thanx me for my time and walks out with the same enthusiasm, calm and poise that she had entered with.

i look at the clock it s 9:45. my colleague gives me a dirty look. i hurry up the process and we head home. but this morning when i woke up i found myself still thinking about every word she said.

since my move to Canada i have been complaining about the life i had back home, what all i did, my freinds, work, school. not once have i thought of my present situation positively. i cribbed when i took up this retail job. such pride i had in me, im an architect i cant be caught dead doing this. but how many wonderful people i meet here everyday is amazing. this is a stepping stone for me in finding more oppurtunities for myself. i know that i met maid 4U for a bigger reason. we can never fully know the true outcome of any course of action. any apparent wrong turn can have surprising and joyful consequences that we could have never foretold. the point is, we just never know where our blessings will come from or how life will turn out.

a point famously made by Thomas Edison after his unsuccessful attempts to produce a lightbulb, " i have nt failed. i ve found 10,000 ways that dont work."

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

PIA--the good old days of print & design



unpredictability of life


today we are all shaken.
my father-in-law had a close encounter with the not so pleasant side of life.
f spend the night at the hospital.
i could not sleep... kept thinking only if we knew a little earlier maybe we could
have done something to prevent his heart from getting so clogged.
why is it that we take life for granted thinking we are invincible?



familiarity in the unfamiliar


Do u wake up on your own
and wonder where you are?
(goo goo dolls-slide)

i wake up every morning in search of some sort of familiarity, a smell, a sound, a voice, a touch.the early morning chaos, the mali watering the garden, the massi fighting with the driver, abu cranky with few hours of sleep and ami craving for her morning cup of tea.
and now i wake up and i wonder where i am. i wake up to see someone by my side. i wake up to his smell, to our smell, to his touch, and sometimes often enough to his snores too...i panic...i dont recognize this, i dont remember when it happened, am i dreaming...where am i? and then i see him. in his peaceful slumber...i envy him... i look around me, i find my books on my side table, i see the blue ceramic plate tanya gave me on my birthday 3 yrs ago and then my eye falls on a photograph taken on the day when my world felt complete....my heart stops punding...i can now look at this man lying next to me and smile.... im finding a familiarity in the unfamiliar....im finding myself, im finding my way around....it s a slow process but im getting there...im finding my niche!!