world cup football--INSTRUCTIONS FOR WIVES

THIS MORNING I WAKE UP TO C A SURPRISE WAITING FOR ME IN MY GMAIL INBOX FROM F...
tv rules for wives till the 9th of july. im posting some important ones as follows:

• during the game i will be blind, deaf and mute, unless i require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if u expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor...it wont happen.
• please please please!! if u c me upset because one of my teams is losing DO NOT say " get over it its only a game" or " dont worry they ll win next time". if u say these things they will only make me agrier and i will love u less. remember u will never ever know more about football more than me and your so called words of encouragement will only lead to a break up.
• if u have to pass in front of the tv during a game, i dont mind as long as u do it crawling on the floor without distracting me.
• the replays of goals are very important. i dont care if i have seen them or i have nt seen them. i want to c em again. MANY TIMES. AGAIN N AGAIN
  
• you are welcome to sit with me and watch one game and u can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime scores pleasing me. in additiong plese note im saying only one game: hence do not use the world cup as a nice cheesy excuse to spending time together.
• THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION