Monday, November 06, 2006


By George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor
. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

how COMPLETE are we?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


i dont do drugs....
i just do COKE ...

"he does not need opium.he has the gift of reverie"
-anais nin

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

if i could i would....

It is with great regret we announce the sad demise of Ailya Jaffri (Architecture graduate - 2002), an Alumnus, a colleague and a friend of the Indus Valley School of Art and Architecture.
She will be deeply remembered in all our hearts and we hope and pray that she finds peace and solace.
Her Soyem is being held at Mr. Zaidi's Residence, Appt. No. B5, Jason Luxury Condominiums (Opposite St. Micheal School Clifton) On Thursday 29th of September 2006 at 4pm.
we apologize that this mail might reach you late but information was passed on to you as soon as it was made available to us.

found this email sitting in my hotmail account which i seldom check...
did hear about her sister 3 weeks ago n got an email from N n a call from 2 other friends about Ailiyas death...
she was with me at indus but we were together in A levels as well...this as been such a shocker...
this is what life has been throwing at me lately news of deaths, betrayls, loss of friends, deceptions and lack of trust.

what is there to say at times like these...thus my silence...which im trying to break today and every day...struggling through it and lots more...but there s hope as long as there s love... and that makes me stronger!!

if i could i would....

just lie in my mothers arms and cry to my hearts content...
listen to her brave words of encouagement...
share with her the unsaid thoughts..
the unspoken words...
and when i have grieved...
she will leave...cause she knows she has given me courage once again...
she has shown me hope...
and she has given me strength to stand up on my own feet and fight...
and i am strong once again!!

Monday, August 28, 2006


It all seems a lie
The time that flew by

The walk in the woods
Where time just stood

The dancing in the rain
When the hand was refrained

Somebody conspired
To leave me in-spires!!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


take off your shoes and walk along a beach through the oceans last thin sheet of water gliding landwards and seawards. you feel reconciled in a way you would nt feel if there were a forced dialogue between you and either one or the other of these great phenomena. for here in between land and ocean---in this in between realm, something happens to you that is quiet different from the sailors nostalgia. No landward yearning from the sea, no seaward yearning from the land. No yearning for the alternative---No escape from one into the other...

aldo van eyck

Thursday, July 06, 2006

knowing is not E N O U G H !!

photograph by F

at work someone had posted the following
"It is not enough to stare up the steps, we must step up the stairs."
Vaclav Havel

Thursday, June 29, 2006

choice or manipulation

we SEE

we are being SCANNED


MEDIA; an intervening substance through which something else is transmitted or carried on
the transmission of visual images of moving and stationary objects, generally with accompanying sound, as eclectromagnetic waves into visual images
NEWSPAPER; yesterdays, stale congealed reality
Communication of audible signals encoded in electromagnetic waves
BILLBOARDS; "the city of tamara, you penetrate it along streets thick with sign boards jutting from the walls. the eye does not see things but the image of things that mean other things"
(Calvino, Italo. Invisible Cities)

these are all designed to " flood us with the kaleidoscopic soothing images of United Streets of Diversity and Microsofts wide open "where doyou want to go today? enticements....The real question is not " where do u want to go today?" but "how best can i steer you into the synergized maze of where I want you to go today?"
(Klein, Ann. NO LOGO)

we are constantly in zones of simultaneouity,
of transmission,
of transcience,
of being processed.

Reality is being manipulated and processed at all times and being trnasmitted to us in the form of leisure or labor, consumption or production. The media ecology is in constant struggle to slowly anesthetize the human brain.
We willigly or unwillingly leave fingerprints behind. Less do we know our tracks are being watched and then navigated in a certain direction.

"Well, i mean, yes idealism, yes dignity of pure research, yes the pursuit of truth in all its forms, but

there come a point im afraid where you begin to suspect that if theres any real truth, its that the entire multi dimensional infinity of the Universe is certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs.....

(Adams, Douglas. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

At cash desks you hear a voice: " your telephone number and postal code please"
As soon as you give out the information and they type in the numbers, consider yourself sucked into the abysmal system of digital manipulation. An infinite whole opens up in the fabric of the digital space-time
database and u become a distinct part of an undistinguishable whole. this whole is the container of information. Your likes and dislikes, your brand of clothing, shoes, food, cellphone lines, books, music, art, swipe of your visa, debit, mastercard and you leave yourself exposed. These databases then become public corridors under constant survelliance.

are we making a choice?
are we making a choice?
are we making a choice?
are we making a choice?
are we making a choice?
are we making a choice?

YES, when it snows we can either shovel or make snow angels
NO, when we sedate our minds with the media, sit and absorb like "passive sponges soaking up spin-doctored accounts and sitcom solutions as unabashed truth"
MAYBE, when we become aware, when we reach for the impossible and not settle for compromising--when we become less complacent. When we choose wisely !!

Monday, June 26, 2006

sharing of ideas, viewpoints, discussions---HOPE

Hi there !!
Well it has been a week since we returned wow feels longer.
I had a great time in Cuba I believe because of Fred he definitely brings
people out of there shells. I wanted to send you a few cds I think that are
very powerful in the words and intent. The night we talked about the people
in Pakistan and how that part of the world has been forgotten and of course
the other areas of conflict I was very impressed by your compassion both you
and your wife and knowledge. I guess you could say you two gave me hope
that with education and understanding we can and will make a difference in
our life times. If you would like please send me a address and I will
make copies and send them to you.
Let me know All the best Arlene McCormick Hamilton

F replied:
Galileo Galilee once said
"I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him".
That has been the motto in my life. I am humbled that you found our
knowledge to be of essence. In meeting you I found that knowledge is
also still respected and now I am sure that there is a lot we will
share in the future. I feel that with education there comes
'responsibility' ...where understanding develops 'liberal ideals', both
of which are the essence of human hope. ..........

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

food for thought

she did really well today
nicole: did u congragulate her?
sara: no not as yet
nicole: well make sure u do. "you dont ever want to become the person who does nt notice" (wink and smile)
sara: true i dont want to...

Saturday, June 17, 2006

strangers in the night

loud screams
deafening screams..
angry retorts...
a n g e r
demonic thoughts...
d e m o n s
all engulfing evil..
violent actions...
v i o l e n c e
doors slamming...
name calling...

s c r e a m s
a n g e r
d e m o n s
e v i l


doors closing
barriers constructed..
car screeching

long, dark road...
d a r k n e s s
empty turns
low whispers
wind blowing
endless paths
inner conflicts
self contradictions
t h o u g h t s...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

world cup football--INSTRUCTIONS FOR WIVES

tv rules for wives till the 9th of july. im posting some important ones as follows:
  • during the game i will be blind, deaf and mute, unless i require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if u expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the wont happen.
  • please please please!! if u c me upset because one of my teams is losing DO NOT say " get over it its only a game" or " dont worry they ll win next time". if u say these things they will only make me agrier and i will love u less. remember u will never ever know more about football more than me and your so called words of encouragement will only lead to a break up.
  • if u have to pass in front of the tv during a game, i dont mind as long as u do it crawling on the floor without distracting me.
  • the replays of goals are very important. i dont care if i have seen them or i have nt seen them. i want to c em again. MANY TIMES. AGAIN N AGAIN
  • you are welcome to sit with me and watch one game and u can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime scores pleasing me. in additiong plese note im saying only one game: hence do not use the world cup as a nice cheesy excuse to spending time together.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

a beautiful Cuban world

The city spreads beneath our feet as we tread through its cobblestone streets, history marked in their crevices by the blood of the great rebels, revolutionaries, martyrs, guerillas and activists. To walk into the narrow, labrinthine streets of Old Havana is to walk into color, history, architecture, music, magic, harmony and love. A caress of colors and warmth reflected in the vibrant architecture of the city. A swing into past and present threaded together by the grandeur of Spanish style buildings juxtaposed by the reinvigorating palette created by the new buildings.

This is only the begining of our visually stimulating adventure. As we get lost deeper into the city, i notice water being thrown on the sidewalk, an old woman sweeping it away with a broom. Dirt floating down the gutters, windows opening out ont the street, children playing hopscotch, cats licking off leftovers from the cafes,dogs lazing around sidewalks. How reminscent it is of home. A sudden, profound joy engulfs me in watching the crowd, the activities. Every turn of the street, every corner is a visual, intellectual treat. Cuba as a whole is a country rich in art, literature and architecture. Schools and libraries are a common sighting with a message from the governement saying "we dont want you to believe we just want you to read" (96% literacy prevails in Cuba today, with free medical & dental treatment). Everyone seems to be an artist with their own unique style. Homes converted into art galleries. I had the enriching experience of walking into some ones living room which was his gallery, his studio, his world. I was overwhelmed with the simplicity of his lifestyle, and that of all the people we spoke to.

Santa cruz the next day and Matanzas the day
after had a similar flavor to offer. Santa Cruz being a small town gave an insight to the social set up of the country. A city of no logos, no treachery of advertisments, no billboards playing havoc with the mind. A collectivism, a unity, a socialism in a classless society. COMMUNISM !! No rush, no hurry. An unfamilar tranquility. A purity, a freedom. A nation devoid of the materialistic attachment to possessions and values. The mayor of the city going to the same ration store with the same ration card where the farmer or the doctor is going. A society free of illusions and delusions. No insatiable hunger for power, no class distinction. Freedom !! the whole nation has a tremeondous all engulfing sense of freedom. Not the superficial illusion of freedom we live in. It is the freedom of the soul, the freedom of the mind, the freedom of spirit.

in the words of the icon of revolution and liberation, the natinal hero, Che Guevera
"there is no other definition of socialism valid for us than that
of the abolition of the exploitation of man by man." and in anotherplace he continues to say
"one of the fundamental objectives it to remove interest, the factor of idiviual interest, and gain from peoples pyshological motivations."

Here is to an exemplary nation. Here is to Cuba, to our freinds Yankeel (student and Physical ed teacher), Mr. Luis (Professor of Art History, Univ. of Havana), the be
ach bar lot, and all the other friends especially Ken and Gwen. To happy memories....!!

Saturday, April 22, 2006


what a feeling of utter and complete liberation!!
i got my drivers licence today
passed the written driving test ...
i am now officially ready to come out on the road...yayyyy

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The Libertine!!

Countess: anyone can drink.
Rochester:(Johnny Depp) yes. but few can match my determination.

Johnny depps done it yet again. For those who have nt seen this movie as yet pls dont waste a second. it is a brilliant piece of performance, art work, acting, casting, filmography, set design, and above all Johnny depp. He delivers the severeness of the dialogues, their wit, their cynisim with unbeatable passion.

it is the story of John Wilmot a poet, a cynic and debauchee, set in a sombre 17 th century England. it is about a man who cared for nothing, not even himself. its a portrayal of his last few days when his drunken and lechorous ways get the better of him. hair raising acting, intense and absorbing. watching the movie ure thinking do i hate him, do i sympathize with him, do i pity him.

its an emotionally moving work of direction and acting. and i think the movie seems to have done justice to John Wilmots work, his perverseness, his hatred for life, his lack of faith, his anger, his lust and his sad end.

".....that is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that i hope.I am John Wilmot, Second Earl of Rochester and i do not want you to like me."

Saturday, April 15, 2006

a little something for a little someone

we prepared for you.....
we waited for you...

we talked about you endlessly...
watched how you grew inside mommy...
kicked and wiggled and danced...
u were happy ...
we were all happy...
watched how mommy would nt stop eating.. mommy fell in love with daddy even more...
if she could she would eat him too...
she looked beautiful...
and daddy looked a little lost and confused but happy...

we heard your heart beating...
jumped with joy at each beat...
saw you curled up inside mommy.
could nt wait to have you with us...

and you have now arrived...
too bad khala missed it...
she was too far but shes with you and loves you...
and cant wait to cu and hug u and kiss u...
spoke to mommy and daddy...
their excitement was contagious....
mommy wants everyone to be pregnant....
but thats mommy...

N & O (my closest friends) had izdeyar 30 th march'06
hey guys love u and miss u lds...
wish i was there
this goes out to that time at jalal bhais khoka, O n my talks, and N n her tantrums...

what r friends for?

a friend send this to me the other day...
there s too much truth in it ;)

Sunday, April 09, 2006

vicious cycle of questions

'o' levels:
science or commerce?
it' ll decide what path your life takes...whole lotta crap!!

'a' levels:
u get into a good uni and u r set for life...

ru done? married? what still not married?

working? married? what your 25 working and still not married?

independent house? with in laws?how many cars? servants? pregnant? kids?

a year after marriage:
what still no kids? beta/ friend everything k?what u doing with your life?


Monday, April 03, 2006

exits and arrivals

29 th march '06, Karachi, Pakistan

they say the house was visited lately. the guest had wings which hovered over the door.
he knocked with a gentle tap. so gentle that even the host did not wake up.
he did not mean to wake anyone up afterall it was the middle of the day and it would b rude to do so. so he tiptoed his way through the room of the sleeping man evading the eyes of his wife who stood beside him in the room and invited him over. the sleeping man accpeted the kind invitation and walked out the door.

he left behind a woman whose life revolved around him, black n white photographs of them together, pictures of his children and grandchildren, his books, a house which resonated memories of their lives together, his body which at the age of 80 had begun to show signs of deterioration--- his whole world. they say the courage of life is a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of the final moment, but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tradegy.

f's nana left the world quietly in his sleep. he was buried the same day at maghrib.
"nones death comes to pass without making some impression, and those close to the deceased inherit part of the liberated soul and become richer in their humanness"

dec '05, NY, u.s.a.

just a few mths back in another part of the world an embryonic seed had grown inside his daughter. she was the bearer of life. and finally dec of '05 she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. they named him omar.

exits and arrivals
29th march '06, TO, Canada
30th march '06, NY, u.s.a.

as soon as we heard the news f decided to take aunty to meet his sister in NY. the 7 hr long drive was quiet and restless. on arriving aunty n b khala met and shared their sorrow, talked at length about aba jaan and nostalgia took over. sorrow slowly turned into laughter as happy memories were shared. but the one tiny soul which brought life to this sad moment was omar. unknowingly, without any deliberation or effort he brought a smile to everyones faces. his smile, hs eyes shining, looking, observing and absorbing, his feet kicking at the joy of life, his tiny hands reaching out. this newness of life, this smell of freshness, this ray of hope, this little face of heaven, this little arrival of love and life at the exit of another. the sun afterall sets to rise again, autumn is followed by spring, and the stirring of life is bringing death alive.

this goes out to my nana who parted from us Feb '04, to my dadi, to my chachas who dies a very youg death and all those loved ones who have left us. we remember u for all that u lived for, what u stood for and what u were willing to die for. May your soul rest in peace. ameen

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

on the bright side......

".....its tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect partner, the perfect outfit.
but maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we,ve got."

carrie, sex and the city

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

back from karachi...
jetlagged and sick...
brain blogged...or brain blocked...
lots to say...lots to write about...
share losses n gains...

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

the parallel worlds i call home...

lucy discovers the secret closet and her creative imagination and child like spirit transports her to a parallel universe of Narnia. her adventures begin there. she meets the lion, the witch, the faun, mr. & mrs. beaver and many more fantastical creatures. everyone whos read and now watched The Chronicles of Narnia knows exactly what im talking about. and for those who havent read it go read it now and then watch the movie and grow up once again.

i discovered my little Narnia a year back and made it a parallel world to my home in karachi. unfortunately there was no secret closet that transported me into this snow clad land. im sure my comparison of the magical world of Narnia to a concrete jungle, Toronto must be making mr.C.S.Lewis toss and turn in his grave. all apologies to you mr. C.S.Lewis, may your soul rest in peace. this is nothing personal. watching the movie revived my childhood memories of the book. structurally, the sleek narrative of your book and my own adventures of being away from home ( the longest i ve ever been ) create a symmetry of events. im an architect sir. so i say its just a design thing. your from the creative world im sure you ll understand. IM NOT DERANGED. ;)

my magic and myth began a week after my landing when school started. it was a cruel winter. i had layers and layers of clothing, i was away from home, commuting was public, i was still trying to adjust to my new role of a wife, a daughter n sister-in-law, and i had no friends that i could call MY OWN. there were no rabbits coming out of a hat. this was one mysterious phase in my life i had to solve on my own with determination and resolve. im not goin to say F was not my most trusting, dependable faun. if it was nt for him i would nt have survived it. but my emotions which weer unexplainable and unrecognizable to myself had to be taken care of by myself alone.

however that phase is now long over. in it i met the white witch (winter), the lion (spring, summer and the flaming autumn), the fox, a couple of mr. & mrs. beavers some closer than others, and made some friends that i can call my own (S & A). now im ready to make a trip back home. ironically, home now is in two places. home is where F is and home is where i ve grown up, my family, my friends and pf course karachi my city. dual living with equal love and care. mashallah. so karachi here i come...

Thursday, January 12, 2006

a natural high....

the thing about taking a break is that you dont feel it till you actually get out of the city, out of your everyday shoes, out of meeting the same people, out of the mundane cartwheeling that life tricks you into (as hard as you may try to avoid it). distance and solitude become an absolute necessity. the need to be on your own, have your own space, spend quality time with eachother, enjoy silence, bask in nothingness is what you need after drudging through an unending cycle of life. you need an express check out of routine...!!

f & i do that a lot to keep ourselves sane. lunacy is easily attainable if sanity is nt kept in check from time to time. that is for the mental state. now for
the physical state. fatigue creeps up uninvited and tires you out slowly but surely. last but not the least is the state of being itself. keeping the soul and the spirit intact is by far the most difficult and most important. i sound like a talk show. but the fact of the matter is that keeping the spirit alive is like living life to the fullest. the soul like the mindd and the body needs nurturing at all times. it needs to know it is cared for and not abandoned.

yes, im rejuvenated, and breathing, alive and kicking. i feel a weight lifted off my shoulder. i feel light, emotinally and physically (even though i ve put on around the waist). f feels the same. we have been on a natural high.we are both very spontaneous beings which is what i love about him the most. and therefore, a quiet weekend away from home has done us well. we eloped daringly in the middle of the day last weekend. we were discreet about it. our bodies had been sending out an sos to our brains which was becoming impossible to ignore. it was a weekend best left unexplained. words can turn beautiful moments into memories. we are still enjoying it and before it becomes a memory we will revive it again!!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Thursday, January 05, 2006

2005 to 2006

walking away from a blurry 2005......

......running to catch 2006

and hoping for a clearer, fresher and full of discoveries new year....!!!

happy new year to everyone....!!!