how much does your life weigh?

"make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components in your life"
Ryan Bingham, Up in the Air

i love traveling but i hate packing. flying makes me anxious. i hate going through the check in line, immigration, body search and you know the drill. so when i arrived home after a full day at the spa courtesy of sister, who baby sat N and took care of packing three suitcases, all i had to do was shower, change and look good for a 14 hour long flight.

i ran a quick and final check through the room i had occupied the last three months at my parents house. bedroom-empty. bathroom-empty. closets-empty. drawers-empty. suitcases packed and waiting for me at the door. and by empty i mean devoid of my belongings of course.

so now that all my belongings were safely packed away then why did it seem there was still something missing. after three months away from home, work and my life i had been super excited to get back to some normalization. why was it then that i felt incomplete. like a big part of me was left unpacked. something very precious to me was not in those suitcases.

i could hear my parents and sister playing with N, making the most of these last few moments with him, capturing his every move in the camera of their minds. and it made me realize what Clooney so aptly put into words in Up in the Air, "how much does your life weigh?". and after all the knick knacks were packed away in those suitcases that stood there silently, constantly reminding me of the goodbyes that were to follow. what remained were the "....people you trust with your most intimate secrets. your brothers, your sisters, your parents.....You get them into that back pack, feel the weight of that bag. make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components in your life."

and we said our goodbyes. i went through check in. my luggage was not excess. but i felt very heavy. "how much does your life weigh?" at that point in my life it was excess by three months worth of memories, love, arguments, laughter, tears, friends and family, in which every second was lived a hundredfold its actual potential. im back now with a heavy heart but fond memories.

corner view: water

i saw gigantic water drops stuck in a glass window
capturing life in its reflections

empty your mind, be formless, be shapeless-like water. now you pour water into a cup it becomes the cup, you pour water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you pour it in the teacup, it becomes the teacup. now water can flow or it can crash. be water my friend.
--anonymous

free your mind
&
check out more water creatures here

weekend wanderings: spontaneity

husband and i are spontaneous beings. we feel caged by routine and run as far away from it as possible. living for the moment and making the most of it while it lasts: has been our mantra for life. no planned excursions, no planned dates, no valentines day forced confessions of love, no gifts when they are expected the most. nope, nothing of the sort.

so this sunday inspite of lack of sleep, extreme tiredness and exhaustion, somehow the happenings of our day unfolded itself quite beautifully. we had a plan. we dropped little N at his grandparents in the morning, i had a round of meetings which i managed by gulping down a sugarless, dark, grande and then we had planned to go home and sleep through the rest of the evening.

but as we got closer to home, the chaotic view of the city with its jagged skyline and meandering streets looked so very inviting that a detour seemed totally reasonable. the rest of the evening we walked around, laughed, cracked jokes, laughed some more, window shopped, discovered some interesting neighborhoods and simply spent some unplanned, spontaneous time together.

who needs sleep when their is a life to be lived!

pink inked!

life shrinks or expands in proportion to ones courage
-anais nin

we are all beautiful and deserve to take time out for ourselves.

wishing every one strength, courage and pink thoughts
on this pink Thursday, this pink October.

you will find more pink thoughts here and here

corner view: souvenir

Last week i joined corner view courtesy of spain daily and this is my first take at it.
My favorite souvenir from Toronto would be the congestion at Kensington market, where cars fight the narrowness of the streets and pedestrians mock at the drivers. A sort of free will prevails amongst the people, who cross the streets as they like, sing on the streets and entertain passerbys. where you can enjoy the best burritos in the world!



In its proximity is China Town, my all time favorite, where you can find anything and everything under the sky. Where the shops pour out onto the sidewalks, where the smell of fish pervades the atmosphere and the whole street is like eye candy.

and high fashion casually walks by...


Yes, this for me is a typical souvenir of Toronto. You can find more corner views from around the world and their souvenirs at spain daily.

an all night phanstasmagoria

On this sleepless night, the whole city of Toronto is buzzing with art, design and creativity. The excitement is contagious, the energy is spreading like an epidemic and Torontonians seem to be on a natural (some unnatural) high.

Some of these one night projects, installations and performances are happening right in my backyard (as i like to call it). It would have been a shame to miss that now wouldn't it be. So together with a couple of fellow art lovers , i threw myself into this all night party, complete with hot chocolates and bonfires and brought back a bunch of badly photographed phantasmagoria. Here's a quick sneak preview with more to come on flickr!

click on the image above for better view

What you see above is just a glimpse of this grand party that Scotiabank throws for the city every year. You can check the rest here and if you missed it dont fret, there will be more in 2010.

I have always loved living in the city heres another reason why!

wishing every one an artful weekend...cheers!!

this friday....

The first Friday of October has been quiet and mostly spent in the comfort of our home.

rainful and blurry

It has been about a rainy morning and a misty evening

Toronto on a misty night

The in betweens have been mostly pending house chores.

chores big and small
This Friday has been about gaining inspiration from stories around the world, getting a fall wardrobe ready, catching up with friends old and new and looking forward to a weekend of Nuit Blanche.

i think therefore i am

Wishing every one a great weekend and leaving with a thought,
"Simple is hard to do. But, when you get there its so liberating. It means taking away things to arrive at just the right elements"
-Eileen Fisher

happy falling

Summer has been trying to say farewell for a while now and i think it finally has. signs of change were visible in our morning walk today.

All the senses seemed awakened by the rustling of the leaves under the feet, the mellowed sun, the chill in the wind, an uncanny calmness and a general slowing down could be felt in the atmosphere. And much to my surprise, i liked the sight of the world slowing down around me, as if taking a break, allowing the change to seep in, bowing down to the call of nature. Fall is undoubtedly, my favorite

because with fall comes:

• the right amount of cool temperature: tolerable and kind
• a burst of color: orange, rust, red
• my lovely tan shoes
• hot chocolates and more coffee
• shorter days and longer nights
• season of mist and mellow fruitfulness
• visits to museums: a spectular photography exhibition at the ROM, Vanity Fair Portraits, photographs since 1913-2008, to be attended
• a free all night contemporary art thing
• photography in a different
• addition of the number one to my thirty
• scrabble nights with friends
• pink: the national breast cancer awareness month if October
  
• small: because October is all about small is the new big (more on that later)
  
• and a whole lot of loving, laughter and living with the ones we care for

stillness

everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it. if we are frantic life will be frantic, if we are peaceful, life will be peaceful.
-Marianne Williamson

hapy October and happy fall!

Spanish holiday

the city view from the palace; generalife

Briefly blogging about my Spanish holiday the other day forced me to go through some of the photographs of our memorable vacation. I thought I will share some of the adventures with my readers and begin right from the end: Alhambra, Granada; the perfect culmination to a Spanish retreat; the epitomy of islamic architecture, romantic, surreal, spiritual and poetic. I’m also sharing some of the pictures that survived the ill-fate of our Nikon experiment, that don’t do justice to the surreal beauty of the palace.

column detail,ornamental relief, interior

I will not say much as words are not enough. I will let you bask in the reverie of the palace, let imagination take flight, let your thoughts travel back in time, walk through the cool and windy courtyards, delicate and slender columns and arches, enchanting gardens and let you reflect in the glittering pools that are embedded in my memories forever.

“We seem lifted up into a purer atmosphere; there is serenity of soul, a buoyancy of spirits, an elasticity of frame that render mere existence enjoyment..” excerpt from one of the most well written books on the Alhambra that we picked up from their bookshop, Tales of the Alhambra, W. Irving, that you can read here.

courts of lion

And i know i said i won’t say much but i couldn’t resist sharing this from the above mentioned book, “The peculiar charm of this old dreamy palace is its power if calling up vague reveries and picturing of the past, and thus clothing naked realities with illusions of the memory and the imagination. As i delight to walk in these vain shadows, I’m prone to seek those parts of the Alhambra which are most favorable to this phantasmagoria of the mind, and nine are more so that the court of Lions and its surrounding halls. Here the hands of time has fallen the lightest and the trances of Moorish elegance and splendor exist in almost their original brilliance.”

arch detail

More to come on the rest of the cities we traveled to. till then i hope you enjoyed this. a lot many times i had heard people tell me that you have lived if you have visited the Alhambra. i understood exactly why after this.

silent contemplation

I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.
-
anais nin

need i say more...

Project 365 @ one week

Today i have successfully and a little painstakingly, (due to little N's injury) completed my first week of Project 365. and here it is in a nutshell.

We bought our Nikon D40 in December 2008 for a Spanish holiday that we were off to. Bad idea! Never buy a new camera that too a DSLR that you’ve never used, right before a 2 week long vacation. Bad,bad,bad!

That is not to say we didn’t take pictures. Oh we took pictures. We took over a 1000 pictures that have not been sorted out to this day. But unfortunately only a handful turned out fairly decent. The rest make for a blurry stack of memories resting somewhere in F’s external hard drive.

Upon our return from a blurry and nauseous vacation we found out I was pregnant with little N, thus the nausea. Our silent disappointment at viewing what we were expecting to be a great work of art, (after all it was a a Nikon D40) we both made a silent resolution to never forget our point and shoot ever and to better acquaint ourselves to the Nikon. This of course was in preparation of little N’s arrival. The following 9 months, instead of reading baby books for parents F religiously read the manual so he could take better pictures and by the time N arrived he was officially the self-appointed photographer of the family.

Then mat leave happened, F got busy at work and we lost our family photographer to the corporatee world. It was time for me to take charge. And i finally picked up the camera and it was magic. And since then it has been impossible to put it down. Of course, all of last year has been about little N., Catching his every move, his expressions and all his firsts. This was reinforced by my free lance work with Art Strollers, as their PR consultant and event photographer, during my mat leave where I was surrounded with babies at all times.

But now finally after a year of trial and error, lessons from friends, short workshops and reading the manual thanks to Chez i can say the journey has begun. Project 365 is a great project for any self taught, self starter. It is a great exercise in practice makes perfect and forces you to read the manual, experiment with the camera every day, come up with creative shots and not to mention, creates a sense of commitment. I have thoroughly enjoyed the past one week and heres to hoping the remaining 359 days are just as nicheilious!

fractured and casted

Bokeh maybe

After a great week of small accomplishments, a crazy haircut and a weekend full of celebrations, fun and laughter, we entered this week with a fracture and a cast. Little N, injured his leg while playing ball (soccer player in the making as F likes to say), followed by half the night at the urgent care and all of today at the emergency. And finally after a series of heart wrenching cries and streams of tears, belted x-rays, darkrooms and huge machines later, my brave little N ended up with a cast.

Surprisingly, what gave us courage was this little injured creature himself who managed to throw a smile in our direction, almost as if consoling these panic stricken adults, his parents.

There is something so very fascinating about children. They, unlike us adults forget and move on. They are free from holding grudges. They are fearless and strong. They are free spirited and full of life. It is no wonder they heal faster than us adults (that’s my theory at least).

Here is wishing my little N a speedy recovery and stronger legs and a lot many soccer games to his heart’s content.

a Nikon D300 experiment

On a different note some o f the stuff to look forward to this week:

• Greys anatomy starting Thursday, Sept 24
• Discovery of Dave Finkelstein. Music that is all about Somewhere still waiting
• Coco avant Chanel with Audrey Tautou, my absolute favorite actress playing the legendary fashion icon Coco
• And the discovery of a Bokeh-holic in me, thanks to Chez who led me to Aspidistra and the Bokeh love
• and a lot many prayers needed for little N!